"Everybody Needs Love," Drive-By Truckers

Just like the sun and moon and stars up above. On the June 21, 2011 Letterman show (and he really likes them!). Hat tip to No Depression.

By The Time He Got To Phoenix

He was sleeping. David Letterman has been on TV for 30 years. This interview must've felt like half of them.

"He Don't Live Here No More," Robbie Robertson

The guitarist and songwriter for the Band appearing on the Letterman show with his Americana offspring Dawes, which is helping him launch his new album, "How To Become Clairvoyant." His lead playing's a little rusty. But since he's as great a songwriter as Stephen Foster, we'll just go ahead and cut him some slack.
Hat tip to the good people at Paste

Payback Is Funny

David Letterman made fun of the New York Times last night for assigning someone, in this era of dwindling editorial resources, to investigate the number of times the word "douche" occurs during prime time. Was he remembering the number of reporters (six) who had worked on an especially harsh article about him in early October? And how about a study of the gray lady's new puritanism?

Lettermania

I've been watching the New York Times, whose reporting on David Letterman's sex scandal has bordered on the vicious, for a followup article documenting his affairs with subordinates. So far, nothing. While you can bet that the paper has tried to develop one, it may be having trouble persuading Letterman's apparently loyal and even affectionate employees to trash him.

Now Randy Cohen, a former Letterman writer who blogs on ethics for the Times, steps up to the plate with an article about whether Letterman gave his girlfriends special favors, such as putting them on TV. Cohen also makes this critical point:

[I]t is noteworthy that over 25 years, we know of no former girlfriend who has taken legal action against this very wealthy, very public figure.

That's Body Language, Not Spelling, Expert

Body language expert Patti Wood on David Letterman's account of the blackmail attempt against him:

He showed embarrsement.

Take A Letterman Maria

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Two-Timesing David

Either the New York Times knows something about David Letterman we don't, or it's out to get him. The same day as its harsh and misleading news story, Alessandra Stanley had a "TV Watch" column that packed a lot of apparent falsehood into one paragraph:

As much as the philandering and possible abuse of power (the office fling is so often a crime of convenience), it was Mr. Letterman’s incongruous blending of the serious and the comic that seemed to crackle with the public and commentators. This wasn’t an exception, however.

Memo to the Times ombudsman: Here's the definition of "philandering" from Merriam-Webster:

to have casual or illicit sex with a woman or with many women; especially : to be sexually unfaithful to one's wife

According to Stanley's own reporting colleagues (all six of them; it took that many to get their story so wrong), Letterman has not been accused of adultery. Nor does the available record contain any evidence of "casual or illicit sex." As for the appallingly inappropriate accusation of criminality, Stanley doesn't stop there. She reports:

By Friday morning some commentators were likening Mr. Letterman’s behavior to that of Mr. Polanski, and they weren’t joking.

How is it not a joke to make a tasteless and unjust comparison between a convicted rapist of a child and the victim of an alleged act of blackmail who had a series of adult girlfriends before getting married?

Pantsed Worldwide

Print journalism may be dying and the New York Times struggling, but six reporters were available today to assemble an article about David Letterman and his alleged blackmailer -- and a mean little article it is. The obvious, perennial cheap shot, in which the article revels, is hypocrisy:

David Letterman, who built his career skewering philandering politicians and show business “weasels” and “boneheads,” finds himself in the middle of his own celebrity scandal...

And then:

[T]here is the open question about how fans will receive Mr. Letterman, who has long used his stance as a sarcastic comic commentator to ridicule the behavior of politicians and celebrities. “Today, The L.A. Times accused Arnold Schwarzenegger of groping six women,” he once said in a monologue. “I’m telling you, this guy is presidential material.”

And yet the Times discloses that none of Letterman's affairs occurred after he was married, no one has ever accused him of sexual harassment, and his production company, Worldwide Pants, has no policy prohibiting such relationships. Based on what we know now, Letterman has done nothing wrong, unless the six reporters are opposed to premarital sex, revealing a heretofore undiscerned streak of sexual Puritanism at the Times.

As for the poor victims of Letterman's hypocritical rants, the LA Times had accused Schwarzenegger of inappropriate and possibly illegal harassment, which made him fair game for a monologue whether or not the comedian had a girlfriend. My guess is that those whom Letterman called weasels and boneheads weren't single people in consensual relationships, either. They had probably been caught committing adultery, abusing the public purse, abusing or harassing people, or covering up. In contrast, Letterman told the public exactly what had happened. Too bad it didn't occur to one of the six reporters to find an expert willing to reflect on how better off some of the weasels and boneheads might've been if they'd handled their crises as forthrightly as Letterman.

The Times also grossly misconstrued Letterman calling himself "terrible" and "creepy." Again, did all six miss the sarcasm? In his remarkable statement last night, Letterman says the alleged blackmailer threatened to expose him to public humiliation. Late in the segment, with a dramatic flourish, he reveals that the sum total of the accusation was that he'd had consensual sex with colleagues. Memo to the Times ombudsman: Letterman was saying that he's not terrible and creepy and also, I felt, that he profoundly resented being told otherwise by a towering weasel and bonehead.

Pastor David

David Letterman's presentation last night about his brush with an alleged blackmailer, a CBS News producer. They say the greatest comics are motivated by absolute terror. Here's proof. Even while telling this frightening, humiliating story, his timing is flawless. It's also worth studying the bond he creates with his audience by being honest (we trust) and self-deprecating (though ultimately standing up for what's right). It's actually a good life lesson for ministers. I'm not always his biggest fan, but I sure was last night.

Friday evening: CBS has prohibited YouTube from showing the video. Too bad. Courtesy of the New York Times, you can watch it here.

Last Laugh

David Letterman's account of being the object of a blackmail scheme was extraordinary -- raw, discomfiting, honest, and periodically hilarious. About his relationships with female staff members, he said, "Would it be embarrassing if it were made public? Perhaps it would, especially for the women!" Describing his initial panicked reaction to the perpetrator's threat to reveal his affairs in a screenplay and book unless he forked over $2 million, Letterman said, "I'm a towering mass of Midwestern Lutheran guilt." But he got over that, and demonstrated to guilty politicians and entertainers everywhere how to take care of business. He called the cops and fessed up, and now somebody's going to get to write a genuine prison memoir.

#1 Reason Not To Try To Blackmail Letterman

You lose.

Horn Songs: "Coming Back" (1991)

Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes, performing on the Letterman show. Oh Lordy, those horns! Song (and, on the studio recording, lead guitar and backing vocals) by Steven van Zandt.

Happy Songs: "Beautiful Day" (2000)

U2 on Letterman, Thursday night